Life's a wheel

Sun rises everyday despite the never ending changes occurrence happening. We too should rise whenever we fall, as we know that there is no end to one's journey until they are laid in soil in their life. Shit happens, undoubtedly, but despite all, we are who we are, and what we are will not be covered in shit if we take the step to clean it up. Picking up a piece of shit and put it away may not be easy. It takes a hell lot of courage to do so and also strong determination. Have that, and you will not see shit as something that you are afraid of, instead use it to exercise your courage and determination to not let shit stinks your life for long.

Nothing is too big in life

Life is beautiful,
Thinking of it is just wonderful,
We are a fool,
To think that life is pitiful.

The path of life is full of thrill,
That would make you stood still,
But never feel ill,
Overcome it with strong will.

Losing someone is so lil',
In this life's spinning wheel,
Be strong and don't fall,
You'll be fine - time will tell.

~Kevin~

Dear oh Dear....

I want to say that you need not be here,
I will come to you, just stay there,
I'm sure you know that I'm always bare,
You see right through me with just a stare.

Why can't I shook off your stare,
While I know that we will not be there,
No matter how hard I avoid to stare,
I end up in despair.

You are my dearest dear,
I hope that the time is here,
For us to just adhere,
And think of nothing else but just us dear.

Dear oh dear,
There is such a fear,
That I could not hear,
Could not hear you call me dear.

You know I need you here,
More than I need the beer,
There is nothing worse than this fear,
The fear of not having you here.

How I wish that you can hear,
And also see my tear,
But then you are not here,
So I guess, I'll go grab a beer.

The last stanza is very clear,
That it was not for my dear,
As I know there is no fear,
If we are together forever.

~Kevin~

Breakthrough

To be or not to be? Be it or not be it? So be it? But what if being it is not really it that we think it actually is? Do and think later? Or think only do? There might be never ending thoughts to some actions. Life is always full with choices that need decisions. Make a wrong one, then you will know if it's life changing decision or path taken. Chose the right choice and you will also know if it's a life changing decision. Therefore, no matter what you do, you will not necessarily achieve what you initially aimed for. And given the vast odds and uncertainty in life, there is not much that you can speculate. Formula to decision is "Heart + Logic + Action = Consequences".
Not even an element less in that 3 will lead to anything proper.

Heart + Logic only will not lead to anything as there is no action taken.
Heart + Action will lead to irrational consequences that might end up bad.
Logic + Action will have the highest chance of getting a right decision for many things, but will you be happy with it? Or should I say, is it what you want? You might regret as well if it's not in the heart.

Always remember this formula guys =)

I had it and I blew it

I had it, and I blew it. This situation is familiar to everyone I believe. What is there that was left to talk about, to think about, to hold onto after you had said this phrase? We had already blew it. It's blown up, it's gone, and it will not be there anymore. What's left is only some scattered debris of what we had before it blew up. Pick up the pieces and reminisce about the original form of it, and think about how good it is if we had not blown it? Or, think of a way to prevent it from happening again? Usually there are this two kind of people. And I would say, I am for the latter but sometimes I am not. How about you? I had something that I really wanted to hold onto forever but I let it slipped away right before my eyes because of my ignorance that took it for granted. This lesson costs me dearly. I vowed not to repeat this same mistake again in the future. I really am keeping my heads up to not be the fool again.

Nothing can change what I want to do, except myself.

Pay It Forward

Just watched this year 2000 movie called "Pay It Forward" and i wept in the process. It's about a boy, Trevor that tries to change the world for the better with his concept of paying it forward. One will start by helping 3 person to do things that they are not capable of and then each of them will continue this deed to another 3, and the list goes on. If it goes according to plan, it will grow very large in number in a short period of time. Yes, this is an utopia situation we're talking about and seriously, I myself do not have the faith that it will success in the world and society now but I wanted to believe that there is still hope for this messed up society. It's a very inspirational movie and we can gain from it. We do not need to do what Trevor did, we can start small with the things around us. Change of perspective on things. There are a few ways to view everything. Find the best angle to see things clearly =)

Naked

I am all exposed to the environment without any cover. I am a sword out of its sheathe. I am tortoise without shell. I am, what I am because of myself. I make myself to believe in things which sometimes that will not come true. I wanted to tell myself that it will not be possible but I failed miserably always because, deep within me, I however, feels that as long as there is even the slightest hope, I will keep on believing. Stubborn? Yes, definitely but to what extent? This I cannot answer as I am totally in doubt. There are many things in life that we need to live with, and making choices and executing decisions is inevitable in this journey. Feel yourself, and you can know if your believes are there for the good or the bad. Do not hurt people, nor yourself. Find that blind spot, and you will feel euphoria.

ps: Maybe it's a little exaggerating about the euphoric feel, but you'll know it feels good in one way.

16th June 2009

Today,,,

=) Sighing is not what I should do. So I smiled instead.

Marked date it is.

May 4th 2009,

Looking back over the past few days, I am totally filled with uncertainty and dilemma deep within me. It had been 2 weeks exactly when we "officially" parted ways (where the unofficial date was 2 and a half months ago) and I thought things had been cool in me. I thought that we can be very casual but when I meet her, there was this tingling feeling inside of me bugging. I cannot stand staring into her eyes, and I also barely able to look at her for long. I can only snatch a glance at her perfect presence in front and beside of me. I was thrilled that we were able to catch up after what did happened between us. Seriously, these few days was very rewarding and excellent for me. I wanted to shout when we meet. I wanted to let her know that I really still care for her very much. I...Really wanted to tell her "I love you" and that she is so perfect. All those are from deep within my heart. What I want to do cannot be done as I know that it would hurt her and will push us further apart. Feeling is not everything. I must be rational and think about what's best for both of us. I know now is still not the time for us to proceed beyond friend (actually, I am very grateful that we can dine and chat and joke and laugh together). I know that she is not ready to accept the me now and I will work my way to be the me that is the guy for her. I can only stare from afar the beauty in her that took away part of my heart while leaving behind some clues for me to search back that piece of heart of mine. Hope that I can decipher the clues and bring happiness to her no matter in what way.

P.S: I love you.

The worst way to miss her is to be sitting beside her knowing that we can't be together.

Life has not been bad to me all these while. And I still think that it's still all good for me over the time and hopefully the future. I had been down under the dumps for quite some time when I lost the love of my life. When we can't talk and laugh every time we meet, it truly hurts from deep within me. I know that it would be the same for her as well. Now that we can sit together and chit chat as friend and laugh I felt very glad that it's good that we are moving forward leaving the past behind, slowly. I cared for her very much and I cared for her feeling even more, that's why I dared not show what I feel every time when we meet. She had burrowed deep into my heart and it's almost impossible to dig it out. I really regret that we had to reach this situation after all that we had been through. I am so very sorry that I did not show my love for you in the correct manner. When we part ways, I thought that I can really let go of my love and start over anew, but loving you is like breathing, how could I stop? I will strive to start over anew and hope that I can once again be the man of your heart.

I really hoped and prayed that this day would come where we held hands and walk the life long journey together until we part ways with each other and this world altogether.

Sloppy Loop

Today I wake up. Then I brush teeth. After that I felt that it's hot so i took bath. Then I go to work. Then I finish work. Then i come home. Now i am at home. Later I will sleep. Tomorrow I will again wake up, brush teeth and maybe bath then go to work again. Loop? Routine? Things repeating over and over again? NO!!

Nothing is the same each moment. Every moment is for that moment itself. Free your mind from this loop perception and accept that everything that happens is never the same. If you are doing the exact thing every moment, then you're not improving in which I believe nobody in this world is like this =) Each moment will never be the same.

From the post:

~Something to Ponder Upon~

D State of Infinity

When I looked up at the vast dark sky, many things came across my mind. It depends on when do I gaze upon the limitless space above me that leads me to feel the sensation of life's beauty. When I gaze upon the sky above and I see bright blue opens I know that I can go to work as usual today as it won't rain. When I gaze upon the sky and saw dark clouds hovering above, it will make me think, should I go to work earlier to avoid rain? Now, when I gaze upon the sky, the dark vast space over me during the night, I see tiny little twinkling dots all over it - this is when I feel the sensation of life.

Many people always sulks and complains that their life is wrong. That they are not supposed to be living this way. That they are supposed to be like this or like that. But little did they know that NOTHING IS WRONG IN LIFE! It is your mind and conscience that traps your imagination of a beautiful life. It is of this, that leads to people feeling that their life is wrong. Your mind is playing tricks with you. Open up your heart and imagination and feel the excitement you may get living through your ages. Don't bound yourself in this limitless life.

Today VS Tomorrow - the Second

This is a sequel to "today vs tomorrow" dated April 7th 2007.

Browsing through Facebook I saw someone said some interesting thing and it pulls me into writing this post. As I had said before, tomorrow is just an empty shell awaiting to be filled with something we call "today". And that tomorrow cannot happen before we complete today. And because of that, I had emphasized on how important it is for us to complete today with all that we have.

Now, the 2nd part of this is quite an irony. Now that we know tomorrow comes after today, we say, "OK, let's live today as there is no tomorrow coz we wouldn't know if there is really a tomorrow". And so we go and complete today while awaiting tomorrow. But the irony of this relationship is - Now that you had completed today, but tomorrow never arrives. Tomorrow is not here still. WHY? You asked yourself why is tomorrow not here yet? Why is it still TODAY? 24 hours, 48 hours, 72 hours, and goes on.... It's still today.... Everytime we complete today and awaits tomorrow, what we get is just another today as when the so called "tomorrow" reaches, it will become "today." What an irony.

Points to ponder: Today is very important. Live it. Feel it. Appreciate it. You do not know how many Today you will have and you know that you will never have a Tomorrow =)

Untitled

When you look at the girl that you loved straight at her face and you felt deep sorrow within yourself in which you also see that she is struggling to face you, but there is nothing you can do about it because of the tension that had built in between, it is best that you reminisce from today backdating until the 1st time both of you held hands. You might find that from sorrow, it will turn to sweet and happy memories together. Stop there and feel about both of you. Are you glad to see that she's happy? Do you laugh together when she laughs? Have the answer in your heart. Now, not only that you felt your own sorrow at the thoughts of losing her but that you also can feel her tension and struggles over the times - what does this means?

Feel yourself. Feel her. Think of the best way out from this for both of you. Hath you thought of what will relieve both of you from this pain and suffer? Sometimes persistence is a solution, sometimes a moment of drawback is also a formidable solution and sometimes loosen the grip can also be a relieve for the tension. Different individuals have different desires and goals. Search yourself and see where you stand. After all, you just want both to be released from this struggle and tension. See through her, see through yourself and you will make the decision that will lead to great relieve for her, and maybe for you as well. When both parties are released of the tension, who knows, life could get better and you might find happiness together again?

Points to ponder: People grow wiser as they age. People gain knowledge from experience. People give love to whom that wishes to receive not to whom that rejects it as it might hurt people when forced to receive things that they reject.

today vs tomorrow

Today is today tomorrow is tomorrow and of course when we say tomorrow it means the day after today. Tomorrow will never come if you did not complete today. Ain’t no understand why people always telling others to think of your tomorrow. To me, tomorrow starts with today. When you can’t even handle today what is there to think about for tomorrow? Can you configently say that you know 100% on what will come tomorrow? Nothingness fills the word ‘tomorrow’ while awaitng today to fill the nothingness in ‘tomorrow’ with something. Tomorrow needs today. Today determines tomorrow. Worrying about tomorrow is just a protocol people that are used to do/follow or a norm for nowadays society. People often take tomorrow for granted and neglect today. What is tomorrow if there is no today? Ponder upon this statement =)

LIVE FOR TODAY LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
TREASURE TODAY AS THERE IS NO GUARANTEE OF TOMORROW!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
WAHAHAHA!

*April 7th 2007

Bored~

Sometimes I find something funny I like to share. Hope you like as I did.

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THE ATHEIST

An Atheist was walking through the woods."What majestic trees"!"What powerful rivers"!‘What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard arustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly chargetowards him. He ran as fast as he could up thepath. He looked over his shoulder and saw that thebear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear waseven closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. Herolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bearwas right on top of him, reaching for him with hisleft paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voicecame out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teachothers I don’t exist and even credit creation tocosmic accident. Do you expect me to help youout of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The Atheist looked directly into the light, "It would behypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me asa Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEARa Christian"?
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both pawstogether, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receivefrom thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

~HOKAI

Hokai~ haven’t update my blog for quite some time already, so i suppose i whould write a few words here since now i have the time- i’m on my semester break which i think most of u guys are enjoying this break too.

No matter how bleak it looks, there will be rainbow over the horizon. Which means no matter how bad the things are going for you, there definitely will be something good awaiting you Therefore don’t give up hope all those peeps out there. Work yourself out of the bleakness and you will find yourself on a new ground. A ground that you hoped and wished for. I’m sure everyone has their goal in life. Work your way towards that goal and do not give up when facing difficulties. Think of what you can achieve as a motivation to yourself. Then you can always go forward.

Err, yea and for those who will be sitting for exam soon, all the best and good luck. If you see this post in time that is.

*June 4th 2006

Stress

Is there anyone who is living a stressless life out there? Erm, can I say that stress is there in everyone’s life? I think that most will concur about this or I can even say that this is a fact. Nobody lives a stressless life in this world. I’m sure everyone has their own problems and matters that needed them to think about and work a way out of those. Stress is there, no matter how hard you try to avoid it, it will still be there haunting you. Nobody can run away from stress. The amount of stress differs from each and everyone. Some may feel the stress is pulling their legs, some may feel that stress can make one mature. Stress management is important for everyone. As I’ve said, stress is there no matter how hard you try to deny it’s existence. Do not ever let stress overcome you. Learn to live with stress. Take it as a norm of life. Work things out in order to release your stress. Do not let stress own you or life will be very difficult. There may be times that you think that the stress is too much for you and you are feeling lost, but do not ever give up. Eventually you will find a way to overcome it. It’s all in the mind. Do not ever overwork yourself, you will suffer the consequences in the future if you continuously working over your own limit. Everyone has a limit. Do not exceed the limit or breakdown will occur.

*March 21st 2006

~Nothing to do~

Love’s a sensation caused by temptation, a guy sticks his location in a girl’s destination, to increase the population of the next generation.
Do you understand my explanation?
Or do you need a demonstration?
==========================================================================
Martin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits up and notices his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Martin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless and clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"
So he goes to the kitchen and, sure enough, there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Martin asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 a.m., drunk and delirious. You broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you stumbled into the door."
Confused, Martin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?" His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you said, ‘Get your hands off me, bitch! I’m married!’"
Moral of the Story: Self-induced hangover… $100 Broken furniture… $2,000 Breakfast… $10 Saying the right thing to your wife when you’re drunk… PRICELESS

Perfect!

Come to think of it, life doesn’t always goes our way. Right, we may have everything planned ahead of us, a day earlier, a week earlier, a month earlier, or even a year earlier, but things just don’t seem to be going the right way. Accident happens, and unwanted results occur around us all the time. There is no such thing as PERFECT in this world( correct me if I’m wrong ). I just don’t see how some people can be such a perfectionist. They seem to want everything goes their way and if it doesn’t, God knows what crap they will be thinking or doing or saying or complaining. Whining around about the different turnout from what they had previously planned and blaming themselves for whatever reason there is for it to not be following the original plan and what’s worse, flaming others( Erm maybe the word flaming is a bit too harsh but =P ). What’s the point for all these? Why making things so tensed up? Can’t things just be done cooly even there were to be some problems turned out? Things might seem hard for them but trust me, things weren’t that good either for those working together with them. It might be other people’s error that leads to different turnout, don’t jump to conclusion saying that particular person is incompetent. That person might had tried his/her best already. When something goes wrong, don’t start pointing fingers over who’s that to be blamed and held responsible but take that time to find a way to cover them. This is teamwork. If your teammate having trouble and makes mistake, try to make it up for them with your brilliant mind. Backing each other up is how a team works. Ah, yes, unless all are having the same problem, then that’s another situation.

Life is not like a written script in a movie. There is nothing to hold onto and follow exactly. Whatever we’re doing is just mere slight guideline telling us briefly our path. We cannot follow blindly. We need to change with the environment and condition and whatever crap of relative measures there is. Don’t hold onto something too tight, you’ll break your fingers or even your arm. Things don’t go your way? Figure out what’s wrong and work another way out. Do not push on the same way to reach a target. There are always alternate routes in this world full of choices.

*January 31st 2006

~Something to Ponder Upon~

Life is never the same for every second. I can’t see the point when everyone keeps on saying that they’re doing the same thing over and over again. Seriously, nothing is the same in this world. What we did a second ago, will never be repeated forever. Things might look as if it’e the same but if we ponder upon it, and look thoroughly, it was never actually the same. It is a basic instinct to be wanting to improve oneself. That is why we don’t repeat the things we did before. For instance, when we erred, we work things out another way to avoid repeating the same error again. And even if we were to success, we still work our way to find greater success for the same thing.

*January 4th 2006

Love?~

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ONCE UPON A TIME
Something happened to me. It was the sweetest thing that could be, it was a fantasy, a dream came true, it was the day I met YOU!

FROM THEN
I have to climb thousands and thousands of mountains to get YOU, but YOU just have to smile to get me.

I KNOW
I’m not supposed to love YOU…. I’m not supposed to care…. I’m not supposed to live my life wishing YOU were there.

BUT
If the only place we can be together is in my dream…. I’ll sleep forever…

YES
YOU can say I’m crazy… it’s true… but I’m crazy bout one thing and that thing is YOU!

EVEN THOUGH
I may not get 2 see YOU as often as I would like to, I may not get 2 hold YOU all through the night, but deep inside my heart, I know that this is true:- No matter what I do, I will always love YOU!

DO YOU KNOW
I love YOU when YOU smile, I love YOU when YOU’re bad, I love YOU when YOU’re kidding, I love YOU when YOU’re sad, I love YOU when YOU’re playing, I love YOU when YOU’re blue, but the reason I really love YOU is because YOU’re YOU!

AND
Loving YOU is like breathing…how can I stop?

IF
I had to choose to love YOU or to breath, I would choose to take my last breathe to say I love YOU!

WHAT IF I
Reach for YOUr hand, hold out my arms and capture YOUr heart?

WILL YOU
Hold it, hug me and love me?
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Now, now, what’s written above is not fully written by me alone. Got many nice quotes from an e-mail sent to me. Then coz I’m too free, i linked those quotes and what you see came as the result…

Friend?

Floating in the air. Afloat in the air. WHich sounds better? Doesn’t really matter anyway, it has nothing to do with my blogs. Is it true that a person has 2 faces? As in, does everyone wears a mask of their own in life? Or I should ask, is it a mask, or it’s a sub-councious self in a person? I learn that people keep their real self when interacting with others. True self only appears when one is alone. Usually this applies to those who looks happy and joyful all the time. When interacting with others, it seems as though that person is problem free, but deep within, there are some things which bother them much. Appearance can be deceiving. But do not get things wrong. Deceiving doesn’t always means harm or negative. Sometimes, one deceives for the sake of others. Isn’t it funny when one is unhappy, stressed, in blue, down or facing problems going around letting all know about their situation? Feeling down alone is always better than making everyone around feeling down together. Why not make all those around us happy? Sometimes others’ happiness and smile can lighten up oneself. Laughter is contagious, so does stress. Consider this carefully.

That is about making others happy while you’re not But everything in this life has exceptions. If you feel that you can’t handle it anymore, find someone to talk to- close friend, or those that you trust. One will feel better sharing a burden with someone trusted compare to keeping it to oneself. When you’re down, talk to someone, it can keep you from further thinking about negative things.

Do not tend to hold onto something too tight, you will hurt yourself more. When you can’t get what you hold onto, it’s time to loosen your grip and learn how to let go, life will be easier. Why want to hold onto something that will hurt you?

There are always 2 ways to see things. Ponder upon this statement. Life goes on, history repeats itself. Change…Change…

*October 20th 2005

~Fun Fact~

Life has never be the same anymore when i stepped into the life of tertiary education. Campus life is really different from what i’ve been through all these years. Not to say that it’s more fun, but it just feels different from previous. Maybe there are some difficulties adapting to the new way of living initially but as time flows, things seemed to be going the right way. I seemed to be enjoying it much.

Parting with my hometown friends was the one thing that I do not want it to happen but what can I do? - Life Goes On. They say if the old don’t go, the new will never arrive. That’s just a word of advice to compensate oneself for his/her lost. It’s not totally wrong though, it just depends on how one sees it. Many hope to get the new and also being able to keep the old, and I’m one of those many. Is this called greed? I find friendship as one very important thing in life as it’s a very beautiful thing to have. I ain’t feel no sorrows when I’m around with my friends. Not then, not even now. Life will always be fun when there is a group of people to share it with. I’m glad that I can get to know all these people in my journey of life.

Yeah~OS Assignment finished already!!! But finals coming soon…

*October 14th 2008

~L!f3~

As we walk in the path of life we meet with obstacles and challenges. These hurdles of life can really make oneself improve and learn about their purpose of life. Clearing hurdle by hurdle I realize that there are many things that can be done in life that I never had thought about it. People say things are destined to be and that we cannot change our destiny. Those who are suppose to be successful will be successful regardless of what they do while those that are meant to fail will always fail no matter how hard they try. This statement here defines destiny in life. TRUE os FALSE no one holds the exact answer to it. Whatever we have seen until now all are just relative measures. We may not be able to avoid our destiny, but we may change the route of our destiny from what we were SUPPOSE to be into what we WANT to be. It’s all about will power, effort and of course the relative measure of LUCK and CHANCES. I can see myself lingering around the route of life. There are times I reached towards a narrow alternate path in life. I stood still, pondering whether should i follow the alternate path or continue on with my main route. And finally I skipped the alternate path and continue with my main route. I do not have the courage to explore a new path. It may be a CHANCE missed or it may be a HURDLE skipped, no one knows. Reminiscing my 20 years of life, I see that I had missed out on many, many, many oppurtunities to change my life. I lack the courage challenge new things and the will power to hold onto something I pursue. If I have a little more courage and a little more will power, life will never be the same anymore.

Owh~OS Assignment really hard. This OS Assignment is a hurdle of life…Kinda high, I’m still figuring a way to jump over it >"<

*September 22nd 2005

Falling Behind Time

A new day has come and I am still stucked in the night before. Can’t really see myself moving forward keeping up with the timeline. Flawless time movement flowing according to its own rhythm leaving me chasing after it. Owlie~ How can I not see that the time was on a faster pace? How did I not realize that the time had already overtook me(or was it always ahead of me)? How on earth can I not estimate the pace of the flowing time? Is it that the time pace is increasing all the time or it’s juz me that was slowing down? I am feeling kind of miserable to actually realize the fact that I DO know the answer to the final argument. Oh crap, I’m actually losing pace- DRASTICALLY! I am now finding myself losing out to time. Falling out of position and left behind. Feeling the rush of time, watching time moving forward, leaving me far, far behind.

Owly~….. OS Assignment dateline is near and nothing has been done yet. Can time stop?

*September 18th 2005