Heart of Tarrasque

The Heart of Tarrasque is an item in Warcraft: The Frozen Throne DOTA map. It offers high vitality bonus with increased regeneration rate. How wonderful it can be if this item is available in the harsh world of reality. Resilience, not one thing that you can hold onto at all times.  Stood all by your own, looking for the path of life to continue your journey is never simple. In reality, there's no Boots of Travel to allow quick path to achieve your goals or destinations. Humans do not have the Backtrack skill of Dark Terror that allows you to lapse time and return to the point before you got hurt most, nor we have Linken Sphere to block a massive blow from an incident in life. Most of all, in reality, we do not have second chance in life. There's no re-spawning option added when we started playing a game called life. Yet, against all odds we still walk the path, straying off at times then continuing the journey again. You must remember in life there's no take two and time is not a luxury that we have. So stop playing DOTA and get back to your life. Just for Fun!

Night and You

The night is dark,

The moon is bright,

You are a spark,

That shines so bright.

With you I'd talk,

All bout our life,

With you I'd walk,

The path of life.

Just for you

clouds high above the sky,
ocean spread across so wide,
never had i felt so shy,
to see you by my side.

to see you smile so sweet,
was my life's greatest treat,
that my heart skipped a beat,
oh yes, i feel the heat.

minutes n hours left me here,
day by day i'm still here,
with a heart so sincere,
wishing for you to be here.

my oh my, you, yes you,
smile and laugh, it's so you,
hide and peek behind you,
oh my dear, i need you.

Life's a wheel

Sun rises everyday despite the never ending changes occurrence happening. We too should rise whenever we fall, as we know that there is no end to one's journey until they are laid in soil in their life. Shit happens, undoubtedly, but despite all, we are who we are, and what we are will not be covered in shit if we take the step to clean it up. Picking up a piece of shit and put it away may not be easy. It takes a hell lot of courage to do so and also strong determination. Have that, and you will not see shit as something that you are afraid of, instead use it to exercise your courage and determination to not let shit stinks your life for long.

Nothing is too big in life

Life is beautiful,
Thinking of it is just wonderful,
We are a fool,
To think that life is pitiful.

The path of life is full of thrill,
That would make you stood still,
But never feel ill,
Overcome it with strong will.

Losing someone is so lil',
In this life's spinning wheel,
Be strong and don't fall,
You'll be fine - time will tell.

~Kevin~

Dear oh Dear....

I want to say that you need not be here,
I will come to you, just stay there,
I'm sure you know that I'm always bare,
You see right through me with just a stare.

Why can't I shook off your stare,
While I know that we will not be there,
No matter how hard I avoid to stare,
I end up in despair.

You are my dearest dear,
I hope that the time is here,
For us to just adhere,
And think of nothing else but just us dear.

Dear oh dear,
There is such a fear,
That I could not hear,
Could not hear you call me dear.

You know I need you here,
More than I need the beer,
There is nothing worse than this fear,
The fear of not having you here.

How I wish that you can hear,
And also see my tear,
But then you are not here,
So I guess, I'll go grab a beer.

The last stanza is very clear,
That it was not for my dear,
As I know there is no fear,
If we are together forever.

~Kevin~

Breakthrough

To be or not to be? Be it or not be it? So be it? But what if being it is not really it that we think it actually is? Do and think later? Or think only do? There might be never ending thoughts to some actions. Life is always full with choices that need decisions. Make a wrong one, then you will know if it's life changing decision or path taken. Chose the right choice and you will also know if it's a life changing decision. Therefore, no matter what you do, you will not necessarily achieve what you initially aimed for. And given the vast odds and uncertainty in life, there is not much that you can speculate. Formula to decision is "Heart + Logic + Action = Consequences".
Not even an element less in that 3 will lead to anything proper.

Heart + Logic only will not lead to anything as there is no action taken.
Heart + Action will lead to irrational consequences that might end up bad.
Logic + Action will have the highest chance of getting a right decision for many things, but will you be happy with it? Or should I say, is it what you want? You might regret as well if it's not in the heart.

Always remember this formula guys =)

I had it and I blew it

I had it, and I blew it. This situation is familiar to everyone I believe. What is there that was left to talk about, to think about, to hold onto after you had said this phrase? We had already blew it. It's blown up, it's gone, and it will not be there anymore. What's left is only some scattered debris of what we had before it blew up. Pick up the pieces and reminisce about the original form of it, and think about how good it is if we had not blown it? Or, think of a way to prevent it from happening again? Usually there are this two kind of people. And I would say, I am for the latter but sometimes I am not. How about you? I had something that I really wanted to hold onto forever but I let it slipped away right before my eyes because of my ignorance that took it for granted. This lesson costs me dearly. I vowed not to repeat this same mistake again in the future. I really am keeping my heads up to not be the fool again.

Nothing can change what I want to do, except myself.

Pay It Forward

Just watched this year 2000 movie called "Pay It Forward" and i wept in the process. It's about a boy, Trevor that tries to change the world for the better with his concept of paying it forward. One will start by helping 3 person to do things that they are not capable of and then each of them will continue this deed to another 3, and the list goes on. If it goes according to plan, it will grow very large in number in a short period of time. Yes, this is an utopia situation we're talking about and seriously, I myself do not have the faith that it will success in the world and society now but I wanted to believe that there is still hope for this messed up society. It's a very inspirational movie and we can gain from it. We do not need to do what Trevor did, we can start small with the things around us. Change of perspective on things. There are a few ways to view everything. Find the best angle to see things clearly =)

Naked

I am all exposed to the environment without any cover. I am a sword out of its sheathe. I am tortoise without shell. I am, what I am because of myself. I make myself to believe in things which sometimes that will not come true. I wanted to tell myself that it will not be possible but I failed miserably always because, deep within me, I however, feels that as long as there is even the slightest hope, I will keep on believing. Stubborn? Yes, definitely but to what extent? This I cannot answer as I am totally in doubt. There are many things in life that we need to live with, and making choices and executing decisions is inevitable in this journey. Feel yourself, and you can know if your believes are there for the good or the bad. Do not hurt people, nor yourself. Find that blind spot, and you will feel euphoria.

ps: Maybe it's a little exaggerating about the euphoric feel, but you'll know it feels good in one way.

16th June 2009

Today,,,

=) Sighing is not what I should do. So I smiled instead.

Marked date it is.

May 4th 2009,

Looking back over the past few days, I am totally filled with uncertainty and dilemma deep within me. It had been 2 weeks exactly when we "officially" parted ways (where the unofficial date was 2 and a half months ago) and I thought things had been cool in me. I thought that we can be very casual but when I meet her, there was this tingling feeling inside of me bugging. I cannot stand staring into her eyes, and I also barely able to look at her for long. I can only snatch a glance at her perfect presence in front and beside of me. I was thrilled that we were able to catch up after what did happened between us. Seriously, these few days was very rewarding and excellent for me. I wanted to shout when we meet. I wanted to let her know that I really still care for her very much. I...Really wanted to tell her "I love you" and that she is so perfect. All those are from deep within my heart. What I want to do cannot be done as I know that it would hurt her and will push us further apart. Feeling is not everything. I must be rational and think about what's best for both of us. I know now is still not the time for us to proceed beyond friend (actually, I am very grateful that we can dine and chat and joke and laugh together). I know that she is not ready to accept the me now and I will work my way to be the me that is the guy for her. I can only stare from afar the beauty in her that took away part of my heart while leaving behind some clues for me to search back that piece of heart of mine. Hope that I can decipher the clues and bring happiness to her no matter in what way.

P.S: I love you.

The worst way to miss her is to be sitting beside her knowing that we can't be together.

Life has not been bad to me all these while. And I still think that it's still all good for me over the time and hopefully the future. I had been down under the dumps for quite some time when I lost the love of my life. When we can't talk and laugh every time we meet, it truly hurts from deep within me. I know that it would be the same for her as well. Now that we can sit together and chit chat as friend and laugh I felt very glad that it's good that we are moving forward leaving the past behind, slowly. I cared for her very much and I cared for her feeling even more, that's why I dared not show what I feel every time when we meet. She had burrowed deep into my heart and it's almost impossible to dig it out. I really regret that we had to reach this situation after all that we had been through. I am so very sorry that I did not show my love for you in the correct manner. When we part ways, I thought that I can really let go of my love and start over anew, but loving you is like breathing, how could I stop? I will strive to start over anew and hope that I can once again be the man of your heart.

I really hoped and prayed that this day would come where we held hands and walk the life long journey together until we part ways with each other and this world altogether.

Sloppy Loop

Today I wake up. Then I brush teeth. After that I felt that it's hot so i took bath. Then I go to work. Then I finish work. Then i come home. Now i am at home. Later I will sleep. Tomorrow I will again wake up, brush teeth and maybe bath then go to work again. Loop? Routine? Things repeating over and over again? NO!!

Nothing is the same each moment. Every moment is for that moment itself. Free your mind from this loop perception and accept that everything that happens is never the same. If you are doing the exact thing every moment, then you're not improving in which I believe nobody in this world is like this =) Each moment will never be the same.

From the post:

~Something to Ponder Upon~

D State of Infinity

When I looked up at the vast dark sky, many things came across my mind. It depends on when do I gaze upon the limitless space above me that leads me to feel the sensation of life's beauty. When I gaze upon the sky above and I see bright blue opens I know that I can go to work as usual today as it won't rain. When I gaze upon the sky and saw dark clouds hovering above, it will make me think, should I go to work earlier to avoid rain? Now, when I gaze upon the sky, the dark vast space over me during the night, I see tiny little twinkling dots all over it - this is when I feel the sensation of life.

Many people always sulks and complains that their life is wrong. That they are not supposed to be living this way. That they are supposed to be like this or like that. But little did they know that NOTHING IS WRONG IN LIFE! It is your mind and conscience that traps your imagination of a beautiful life. It is of this, that leads to people feeling that their life is wrong. Your mind is playing tricks with you. Open up your heart and imagination and feel the excitement you may get living through your ages. Don't bound yourself in this limitless life.

Today VS Tomorrow - the Second

This is a sequel to "today vs tomorrow" dated April 7th 2007.

Browsing through Facebook I saw someone said some interesting thing and it pulls me into writing this post. As I had said before, tomorrow is just an empty shell awaiting to be filled with something we call "today". And that tomorrow cannot happen before we complete today. And because of that, I had emphasized on how important it is for us to complete today with all that we have.

Now, the 2nd part of this is quite an irony. Now that we know tomorrow comes after today, we say, "OK, let's live today as there is no tomorrow coz we wouldn't know if there is really a tomorrow". And so we go and complete today while awaiting tomorrow. But the irony of this relationship is - Now that you had completed today, but tomorrow never arrives. Tomorrow is not here still. WHY? You asked yourself why is tomorrow not here yet? Why is it still TODAY? 24 hours, 48 hours, 72 hours, and goes on.... It's still today.... Everytime we complete today and awaits tomorrow, what we get is just another today as when the so called "tomorrow" reaches, it will become "today." What an irony.

Points to ponder: Today is very important. Live it. Feel it. Appreciate it. You do not know how many Today you will have and you know that you will never have a Tomorrow =)

Untitled

When you look at the girl that you loved straight at her face and you felt deep sorrow within yourself in which you also see that she is struggling to face you, but there is nothing you can do about it because of the tension that had built in between, it is best that you reminisce from today backdating until the 1st time both of you held hands. You might find that from sorrow, it will turn to sweet and happy memories together. Stop there and feel about both of you. Are you glad to see that she's happy? Do you laugh together when she laughs? Have the answer in your heart. Now, not only that you felt your own sorrow at the thoughts of losing her but that you also can feel her tension and struggles over the times - what does this means?

Feel yourself. Feel her. Think of the best way out from this for both of you. Hath you thought of what will relieve both of you from this pain and suffer? Sometimes persistence is a solution, sometimes a moment of drawback is also a formidable solution and sometimes loosen the grip can also be a relieve for the tension. Different individuals have different desires and goals. Search yourself and see where you stand. After all, you just want both to be released from this struggle and tension. See through her, see through yourself and you will make the decision that will lead to great relieve for her, and maybe for you as well. When both parties are released of the tension, who knows, life could get better and you might find happiness together again?

Points to ponder: People grow wiser as they age. People gain knowledge from experience. People give love to whom that wishes to receive not to whom that rejects it as it might hurt people when forced to receive things that they reject.

today vs tomorrow

Today is today tomorrow is tomorrow and of course when we say tomorrow it means the day after today. Tomorrow will never come if you did not complete today. Ain’t no understand why people always telling others to think of your tomorrow. To me, tomorrow starts with today. When you can’t even handle today what is there to think about for tomorrow? Can you configently say that you know 100% on what will come tomorrow? Nothingness fills the word ‘tomorrow’ while awaitng today to fill the nothingness in ‘tomorrow’ with something. Tomorrow needs today. Today determines tomorrow. Worrying about tomorrow is just a protocol people that are used to do/follow or a norm for nowadays society. People often take tomorrow for granted and neglect today. What is tomorrow if there is no today? Ponder upon this statement =)

LIVE FOR TODAY LIKE THERE IS NO TOMORROW!
TREASURE TODAY AS THERE IS NO GUARANTEE OF TOMORROW!
FIRE IN THE HOLE!
WAHAHAHA!

*April 7th 2007

Bored~

Sometimes I find something funny I like to share. Hope you like as I did.

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THE ATHEIST

An Atheist was walking through the woods."What majestic trees"!"What powerful rivers"!‘What beautiful animals"! He said to himself.
As he was walking alongside the river, he heard arustling in the bushes behind him.He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly chargetowards him. He ran as fast as he could up thepath. He looked over his shoulder and saw that thebear was closing in on him.
He looked over his shoulder again, and the bear waseven closer. He tripped and fell on the ground. Herolled over to pick himself up but saw that the bearwas right on top of him, reaching for him with hisleft paw and raising his right paw to strike him.
At that instant the Atheist cried out, "Oh my God!"
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
As a bright light shone upon the man, a voicecame out of the sky.
"You deny my existence for all these years, teachothers I don’t exist and even credit creation tocosmic accident. Do you expect me to help youout of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer"?
The Atheist looked directly into the light, "It would behypocritical of me to suddenly ask You to treat me asa Christian now, but perhaps You could make the BEARa Christian"?
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out. The sounds of the forest resumed.And the bear dropped his right paw, brought both pawstogether, bowed his head and spoke:
"Lord bless this food, which I am about to receivefrom thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen."

~HOKAI

Hokai~ haven’t update my blog for quite some time already, so i suppose i whould write a few words here since now i have the time- i’m on my semester break which i think most of u guys are enjoying this break too.

No matter how bleak it looks, there will be rainbow over the horizon. Which means no matter how bad the things are going for you, there definitely will be something good awaiting you Therefore don’t give up hope all those peeps out there. Work yourself out of the bleakness and you will find yourself on a new ground. A ground that you hoped and wished for. I’m sure everyone has their goal in life. Work your way towards that goal and do not give up when facing difficulties. Think of what you can achieve as a motivation to yourself. Then you can always go forward.

Err, yea and for those who will be sitting for exam soon, all the best and good luck. If you see this post in time that is.

*June 4th 2006