I had it and I blew it

I had it, and I blew it. This situation is familiar to everyone I believe. What is there that was left to talk about, to think about, to hold onto after you had said this phrase? We had already blew it. It's blown up, it's gone, and it will not be there anymore. What's left is only some scattered debris of what we had before it blew up. Pick up the pieces and reminisce about the original form of it, and think about how good it is if we had not blown it? Or, think of a way to prevent it from happening again? Usually there are this two kind of people. And I would say, I am for the latter but sometimes I am not. How about you? I had something that I really wanted to hold onto forever but I let it slipped away right before my eyes because of my ignorance that took it for granted. This lesson costs me dearly. I vowed not to repeat this same mistake again in the future. I really am keeping my heads up to not be the fool again.

Nothing can change what I want to do, except myself.

Pay It Forward

Just watched this year 2000 movie called "Pay It Forward" and i wept in the process. It's about a boy, Trevor that tries to change the world for the better with his concept of paying it forward. One will start by helping 3 person to do things that they are not capable of and then each of them will continue this deed to another 3, and the list goes on. If it goes according to plan, it will grow very large in number in a short period of time. Yes, this is an utopia situation we're talking about and seriously, I myself do not have the faith that it will success in the world and society now but I wanted to believe that there is still hope for this messed up society. It's a very inspirational movie and we can gain from it. We do not need to do what Trevor did, we can start small with the things around us. Change of perspective on things. There are a few ways to view everything. Find the best angle to see things clearly =)

Naked

I am all exposed to the environment without any cover. I am a sword out of its sheathe. I am tortoise without shell. I am, what I am because of myself. I make myself to believe in things which sometimes that will not come true. I wanted to tell myself that it will not be possible but I failed miserably always because, deep within me, I however, feels that as long as there is even the slightest hope, I will keep on believing. Stubborn? Yes, definitely but to what extent? This I cannot answer as I am totally in doubt. There are many things in life that we need to live with, and making choices and executing decisions is inevitable in this journey. Feel yourself, and you can know if your believes are there for the good or the bad. Do not hurt people, nor yourself. Find that blind spot, and you will feel euphoria.

ps: Maybe it's a little exaggerating about the euphoric feel, but you'll know it feels good in one way.

16th June 2009

Today,,,

=) Sighing is not what I should do. So I smiled instead.

Marked date it is.